Hidup Seorang ABAH... Part 2

Sambungan dari part 1 oleh Zaahirah Mohammad

During his summer holidays, abah became a laborer (yep you read it right) he went to work as a laborer in Kenyir Lake.. at that time, he was trying to find extra pocket money so he & pakde went to Kenyir Lake and worked as a laborers ( at that time, they were just starting the Kenyir lake project).. even while studying in UK, he never went out to see and explore Europe etc(like mak or I did huhu ) because all the money he had, he wanted to save them for the future. Tok never had a chance to perform Hajji, so after abah and mak graduated, abah contributed rm 1000(from his savings in UK) utk upah haji utk Tok …

Sometimes he sent money eg 10 pound a month to his beloved brother Pak Him.. at that time, it was equivalent RM50 and rm50 was a lot of money. After he got married with mak, they still kept in touch with each other and mak usually sent letters to abah’s family( mainly Pakde &Pak Him).. I think this might be the reason we were very close to Pak Him. Because he is still young (ehem ehem) –but no so young anymore, he was the one yang akan layan kitorang ms kecik hehe.. I have a confession: pak him, when I was small, 1 time I lied to you.. you gave me chewing gum, and you asked me to throw it away after I finished, but I did not. I swallowed the whole chewing gum hehehehe.. even when Pak Him was in US, everytime he called, I would be the one yg terover excited and I could speak hours with him hehe .. masatu aku tgh gila teka teki, so I would asked him all the riddles, and die layan jeklaa anak sedara die yg murai ni hahahahahahahah

This story is not complete without the small , naughty Zaahirah in it.. abah has this study table in his study room that I really really like!! his study room was a NO NO for us but so many times we managed to go in, played with the pens, pencils, staplers, A4 papers etc hahaha. sampai skarang aku ingt lg meja yg best tuh.. then when I was about 1 year plus, as abah was sleeping in front of the TV I tried to wake him up, because I wanted to go poopoo.. tp abah tdo mati..so aku pun beristinjak lah depan tv.. abah bgn2 tdo tgk ade 2,3 ketul najis depan hidung die hahaha sorry abah ;p .. another time, the car’s radio went jammed. Abah went to the mechanic, and the mechanic checked everything and said ‘ aiyooo mcmana radio ni tak rosak, apa pasal ada byk syilling!!’ tp kalini Udin buat, abah went back , nawaitu nak cubit bdk kecik nakal tu, skali tgk2 udin tgh tdo so die terselamat hehehe.. and then ade skali abah nk anta boring income tax, tgk2 udin dah lukis helicopter & kapal terbang kat borang tuh hehehe.. dan byk lagik kisah2 kenakalan kami yg lain hahaha sorry sorry..abah jgn marah yer, diorng kata budak2 kalau nakal die cerdik.. hehehe

The reason im writing this is because I want to emphasize that it doesn’t matter if you come from a rich or poor family. WHAT MATTERS IS YOU. If you have strong will and really want to succeed than you will. Yesterday I wrote that when we were small, mak sent us to swimming lessons, tuitions, smart reader, buy Grolier books etc, but if you can not afford to provide all that to your children, they still can do well provided we commit ourselves in every ways that are possible to ensure their success. They are so many ways (and cheaper ways too ) to provide good education, tp kene rajin laa.. like when mak was a housewife, instead of buying the expensive flashcards, she made them herself using the cheap cardboard and marker etc..

I know I didn’t really show abah how much I love him.. plus we share the same zodiac(Capricorn) so we have clash personalities ekekeke (alasan) .. but abah will never say no if I need help.. thank you abah.. udin kata kalau abah tak bebal, memang abah the perfect father in the world.. but abah, you’ re already the perfect father for us.. thank you belikan pampers and angkut pampers ms balik dr university hhehe, thanks for potty-training me, thanks for providing us with all the necessities and made us what we are today. I promise I will try to be a good daughter to you ;p

Hidup Seorang ABAH... Part 1

Aku copy paste kan dari facebook Zaahirah Mohammad. Nice one!




As I’ve posted an entry about mak yesterday, I think it will only be fair if I write about abah too :p alamak, where to start??

Okay, abah is from Kuala Berang, Terengganu. mak comes from a well off family tokwan on mak’s side was a Nazir sekolah(who planned and opened so many school in Tanah melayu), he was a respected man, educated , can speak good English etc. however, abah came from a very small, remote village in Terengganu(near Kenyir lake) and toki was a carpenter . life at that time was not easy as to’ki couldn’t afford to send some of his daughters to school. They were so poor that during hari Raya the only new clothes they had was their school uniform, so abah and his siblings wore school uniforms as their baju raya huhu..

Abah and his brothers were lucky because they had a chance to further their studies in boarding schools. Their friends who stayed in the village did not do well, most of them doing odd jobs or become security guards etc.. abah went to STAR Ipoh, Pakde went to Sekolah Jenan in Kedah and Pak Him went to MRSM Kuala Terengganu .

In high school, abah was a prefect but die penah kantoi hisap rokok atas bumbung ekekekeke... abah told me every month to’ki sent him RM15 only, some months to’ki didn’t send money at all.. I remember 1 story , abah was helping his teacher to paint a wall@mural (cant remember exactly, but he was painting) and then his naughty friends splashed the paint on his school uniform( bdk2 laki kan nakal huhu) and abah cried because he had no money to buy a new uniform.. his teacher knew that abah came from a very poor family, so he bought him a new shirt ..

Abah was in STAR for 5 years 1974- 1978, but he only went back to celebrate Hari Raya 2@ 3 times only.. first the journey to go back to Terengganu was long and it was quite expensive..imagine , being in Malaysia but unable to celebrate Hari Raya with his family.. now I find another reason of being in Malaysia and unable to celebrate hari Raya- if you are a doctor and u r oncall on Hari Raya uwaaa!!!

eventhough abah came from a poor family, all abah’s siblings did well in their studies.. toki (eventhough poor) was a respected man in the village.. if im not mistaken, toki was the UMNO founder in the village.. but in 1999 to’ki voted PAS hahaha (alamak lari topic sudahh)..

Abah did well in his SPM that he got an offer to do his A-levels in UK.. oh I forgot to mention about abah’s mother – tok.. I have never met her as she passed away before I was born. But I heard that abah was the apple of her eyes. Abah slept on her arms til abah was in standard 6. and when abah got an offer to UK, she cried . first because she was happy, second because UK was so far far far away and third because she was worried abah would end up marrying a minah saleh ;p abah was the first person to go oversea to further his studies in the whole village, and everyone was so proud of him.. all his family members tried their best to send him off to the airport.

Abah rarely told us his story about tok. all the stories I know are from my aunties. At the airport, tok asked him to give her RM 10. at that time, abah only had rm 50 in his wallet ..kesian kan? Imagine to go to a new place with RM50 only.. abah was in dilemma, he wanted to give tok the rm10 but if he didn’t have enough money to survive in London then how? So he promised her that he would send her money once JPA gave him the allowance..

He went to UK with a broken heart because he couldn’t give tok the rm10. In UK once he got his scholarship( I think around 188 pound a month) he immediately sent money to Tok. Tok was illiterate so pakde, mak cik and pak him would be the one who will be writing letters to abah.. their only mean of communication was through letters. everytime he sent them letters, they would replied saying that everyone back home was well, all the normal stuffs etc.

Then, tok’s health deteriorated. Up until now, I don’t really know tok’s exact illness.. some said colon cancer, some said diabetes mellitus.. but tok passed away in December 1979, WITHOUT ABAH KNOWING IT. They sent letters to each other as usual.. when asked why they kept it a secret, they told me they didn’t tell abah because abah was sitting for his A-level exams, they didn’t want him to be sad and worried. So abah didn’t know about tok’s passing til 6 months later when he came back for his summer holidays.

Abah missed his family and country so so much but due to financial contstraint he only managed to go back after 2 years in UK. His family in Terengganu didn’t pick him up in KL, only his cousin in KL (she’s now a Matron in Hospital Klang) went to fetch him. Abah tumpang tido for 1 night I think. In his sleep, he dreamt of tok, and he said ‘mak mak mak’. His cousin( mak ndah) couldn’t help but felt pity and ended up crying as abah still didn’t know about tok’s passing huhu the next day he went back to Terengganu, he was so eager to meet his family members..

Everyone waited for him, except his beloved mother. He was quite frustrated. Then he asked ‘ mak mana?’ to which no one answered. He thought maybe tok went to kebun or something but it’s impossible, tok knew he was coming back.. then he asked again, still no answer. The third time he asked, his youngest brother ( at that time pak him was around 11 years old ) answered ‘mak takdok’ . ‘mak pi mana?? ‘ then pak him answered ‘ mak dah meninggal’

Imagine his frustration and sadness, even typing this entry brought tears to my eyes.. imagine your mother was gone forever for 6 months already, and you just knew it? Well that’s abah’s story.. he was so angry to his family members that he went and locked up himself in his room. Thank God he brought back so many chocolates from UK , chocolate2 tuhla die makan bila lapar ms tgh merajuk dlm bilik. You see, other villagers in abah’s kampong are technically our relatives, so many of them came and tried to talk to him.. finally abah came out from the room and he went to his mother’s grave. He was devastated..No more hands to kiss, no more person that u can call ‘mak’.. she was gone, forever ..


Bersambung ........

Kembali Aktif...

Ada satu lagu, aku rasa sangat-sangat la syahdu bila dengar. Dikala aku cube menjiwangkan diri untuk mencari lagu untuk kasi kat tunang, aku come across lagu nieh.. n this is not really suitable for her. But to be more precise, this song tells me all about my mum.. Kalau korang sume perasan, entry2 lebah putih sumenya entry2 yg penuh dgn nista, emosional, ledakan amarah, rasa kecewa, dan macam2 perasaan yg tidak enak yg "unfinished" .

Thats why sekian lamanya aku berdiam diri dan tidak menulis kerana kini kedamaian dan ketenangan itu telah berumah di hati ini. Dah lama sgt rasanya aku x tulis pape, untuk kasi panas badan, aku nak kasi  lagu ni utk mak aku n mak korang...  liriknya mmg makan dalam.. sape yg dah xde mak, doakan lah mak korang.. sape yg mak nya masih ada, appreciate, jgn segan ckp syg, cinta dan rindu. 

Kalau dgn awek bukan main senang ko ucap I love U macam ko berak teran taik lepas, kuar ' I love U" kenapa dgn mak susah bukan main?

......abg lebah, jgn la ckp mcm tuh, sy cakap je tp dalam ati... ( kire ko berak dlm plastik la ni ek? kekekekeke)

 Kalau boleh call awek berejam-rejam sehari kenapa dlm seminggu tu xboleh lgsung call mak wlupun seminit?

......abg lebah, saya x kol mak tp sy call mama saya......... ( sama la tu ngok!)

Kalau pegi dating boleh peluk awek baikkk punya rapat apa pasat xboleh peluk atau pegang tgn mak masa jalan2 kat pasar tani cari baulu bakar...?

.....abg lebah, bukan xmau pegang tgn mak tapi nnt abis org kiri kanan kutuk saya sbb awek sy xcun n obese....  (kekekekekeke.. padan muke ko, sape suh ko x daftar mak ko g gym kt true fitness, mak aku ilek je selim melim cam barbie doll)

Yang lain2 korang pikir la sendirik...

oh ye, aku nak tmbah sikit lirik untuk lagu nieh.. opick cam malas nak nyanyi byk2 sbb nnt byk sgt lirik dia dah xleh nak hapal..

kelahiranku: muda mu
kecilku : dijagamu
nakalku : dipukulmu
diwasaku : meninggalkanmu
Merantauku : dirinduimu
Mudaku: tuamu
Sakitku : sakitmu
sedihku: pedihmu
tidurku : gundahmu
sakitku : airmatamu
pulangku : girangmu
sakitku : runtun mu
Bangkitku : semangatmu
semangatku : kasihmu
girangku : riangmu
cintaku : cintamu







**iAllah sampai mati saya xkan lupekan semua pengorbanan mak.

**satu memori yg x akan hilang.. even kalau hilangnya ingatan sy.. ialah memori kasih ibu yg mencurah2.. dingin lg mendamaikan sedamai jirusan air zam2 mak ke atas ubun2 dan kepala sy di depan kaabah...

seperti setiap hari selesai tawaf dan sai'e.. sampaikan hari-hari, ada ramai org tgk dari jauh dan dekat dgn muka pelik..

mgkn derang tertanya-tanya " ape mak cik ni buat" n "kenapa dia jirus2 n mandikan anak dia yg dah berjanggut berjambang" ...

bila dah lama orang2 dah x wat muke pelik sbb maybe derang perasan.. " mgkin anak dia sakit" wlupn muke ngn badan nmpk sgt2 "sehat".. hehehehehe

tp mgkn org yg nmpk x akan paham..

diibaratkan spt sakit nye seorang manusia, if dia makan ubat yg dia suap sendiri dgn tangan dia, banding dgn yg mak dia suapkan hari2..

aku rasa, if manusia tu x sembuh pon.. atau mgkin ajal dia sampai..

dia xkan lupe satu benda... dia x akan ingt langsung dia sakit tenat or ubat yg xmnyembuhkan.. tp dia akan ingt sgt ibu dia suap dia ari2.

Mak @ Otago

Lagi beberapa hari genaplah setahun kunjungan mak ke Otago. Mahakaya Mahasuci Allah walaupon dah 4 tahun aku beraya di tempat orang, antara hikmah yg aku baru perasan hari ni ialah diberiNya aku sakit teruk betul-betul masa raya 2008 dan digantikan kesihatan aku itu dengan membawa kepada aku seorang emak. Emak yang diterbangkan khas ke New Zealand oleh Malaysia Airlines dan ditaja sepenuhnya oleh Student Safe Insurance. Tahun ni terasa kosong, raya kali ni xde special apprearance oleh emak tetapi the memory of your tender and loving care is still fresh and that's the thing that keeps me going. Setahun aku yg silam penuh dengan kenangan seribu duka tetapi kedatangan emak telah menghapuskan kenangan sedih itu dengan kasih sayang beliau yang melimpah ruah .Aku bangkit kerana merinduimu. I miss u emak !

Lagu kat bawah ni utk mak..
I wish that i am singing this song especially for u...

Surat Seorang Ibu

Thanks to Munir Muji sebab post kan this video on my facebook wall. Khas untuk tatapan adik-adik tersayang. Sayangilah ibu kita!

HaPpY biRtHdAy eMaK!! I Lap U!!

Semalam tanggal 16 Julai bersamaan dgn besday mak. Tahun nieh umur mak dah berape ek? How old r u mom? Anyway, age is just numbers... For us all, u r still our young pretty mom :) wink2..

Tahun ni x macam tahun sebelum-sebelum ni, belum sempat aku nak kasi apa-apa awal-awal lagi mak dah bagitahu yang dia x nak apa-apa melainkan nak tengok anak jantan dia sehat walafiat macam dulu-dulu x sakit-sakit dah dan yg paling penting anak dia boleh belajar cam biasa and kembali cemerlang bak zaman dulu-dulu. So korang ks hadiah apa kat mak wahai adik-adik ku?

Untuk mak, anakanda mu ini x mampu nak bagi bergunung-gunung emas, harta bertimbun-timbun, menantu yang cantik atau cucu-cucu yang comel, tapi satu benda je saya boleh janji. Mungkin mak rasa kadang-kadang anak mak ni x cukup kuat, atau x cukup kuat berusaha. Tapi kan, kalau mak nak tau saya dah berusaha sedaya upaya. Dah lebih setahun kot saya sakit, dan lebih setahun juga kot sepanjang saya sakit saya dah menyakitkan hati mak, abah, yah, dan adik-adik. Tapi x pernah pon terlintas untuk saya buat semua tu. Alhmdulillah sekarang saya dah makin sehat, kawan- kawan pon happy and I wish you are here to see how I have progressed to this stage, being alive again and funtional. Cume kadang-kadang tu ada masa dan ketika, saya tersungkur jatuh dan saya berusaha bangun balik dengan bantuan kawan-kawan. Kalau kawan-kawan x ada saya cari cikyun. Dan last sekali baru saya cari mak. Its not that you are not important but I just wanna save the best for the last. Sebab dah cukup kot saya buat mak sedih, susah hati, menangis siang malam pagi petang dan sebagainya.... alangkah baik dan bahagianya mak bila dapat bertenang-tenang x gundah x pening dan x resah gelisah memikirkan hal anak jantan mu ini. Reason dia cuma satu.... I love u so much ... much much much more than any other women who have ever existed in this world. Kalau dulu, saya rasa saya jarang call mak, hari-hari kol *** tapi call mak hujung minggu je. Tu pon bila- bila mak dah start mesej or call saya direct from telefon rumah. Tuhan tu maha adil, bile saya sakit disebabkan *** mak juga yang bersusah-susah datang dari jauh tinggal laki, tinggal anak-anak kecik nak jaga anak yg dah besaq gajah tok mia nieh.

Tahun ni saya cuba call mak hari-hari tapi still susah jugak, sebab ya la, ada sorang mak lagi , dan beberapa orang mak lagi... banyak kot mak-mak saya skang.. (termasuk cikyun yg kadang-kadang dok pot-pet pot-pet macam mak..hahahhaha) . Orang-orang lain kadang-kadang jeles kot tengok saya ada mak macam mak. Boleh melawak-lawak, boleh main monopoly sampai high jadi boros sampai bankrupt ..hahaha.. pastu apa lagi ek, erm, macam-macam lagi la.

Dan kepada adik-adik, jangan la sekali-kali engkorang lukakan hati mak macam aku. Kalau xboleh nak belaja rajin-rajin atau bagi cemerlang dalam pelajaran, at least, korang x lawan cakap mak, x kurang hajar dengan mak, x cakap kasar-kasar dengan mak sebab Allah dah kata x ada tempat lain untuk orang-orang macam tu melainkan neraka lah untuk mereka. Kalau korang nak tau betapa susah nya mak melahirkan kita, korang pegi la cari kat youtube ke google ke video orang beranak. Aku dengan yah dah tengok yang real punya.. kita yang tengok ni pon rasa sakit dan perit dia, lagi-lagi masa baby nak kuar dan nyawa maknya dah hujung-hujung kepala, dan badan dia tuh dah rasa nak putus dua. Apetah lagi, emak yang melahirkan, menitis air mata dia bila anak-anak yang dikandung 9 bulan xdengar kata, penyegan, kuat melawan, dll lagi lah benda-benda x baik yang aku, yah dengan korang-korang pernah buat. x lama lagi yah pon dah nak beranak, nanti harap-harap yah boleh share n bagitau kita camne rasanya.. Yang aku pasti, xsemudah korang berak, teran-teran taik dah bole kuar 3-4 ketul. Babeng senang gile... huhuhuhu.. tu korang la.. aku kene teran-teran sampai nak pecah usus-usus urat perut semua then bangun balik. Pastu tangguh dulu. Agak-agak dah ok aku cuba lagi. Sampai boleh. Kalau xboleh jugak aku kene usaha lagi x kesah la macam-macam mana yang penting kene keluarkan kalau x nnt badan aku rasa letih dan lemah-lemah sampai xleh buat apa. Itu semua disebabkan ubat aku dan penyakit aku, yang mana aku dah rasa perit gile, tapi still, xboleh nak samakan dengan sakit mak melahirkan kita.

Aku harap apa yang aku bebel panjang-panjang nieh xde la masuk telinga kanan, keluar telinga kiri korang macam tuh je. At least, kasi lekat kat kepala barang seperenggan dua. Penat nieh weh, membebel-bebel mcm mak nenek. Cikyun pon x bebel kat aku macam nie tau.Huhu..

So, izzah, azzam, kiyap, mak, abah, yah n anas.. jangan bersedih sangat atas apa yang menimpa kimon tuh, kerana things happen for reasons. Andai kata kimon dah xda, insyaAllah dia ganti dengan yang lagi baik, mungkin Rejali yang lagi comel dari kimon :) lagi manja dan lagi-lagi lah. InsyaAllah :)